Am I going HOME or am I going home?

As I’m sitting in this chair, awaiting the results of the ekg and blood work, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve got something seriously wrong inside me. I also instantly think about my family and what kind of position I would be leaving them in if I never made it out. I hate to think like that but right now they are going through my mind constantly!

I haven’t exactly lived the most healthy lifestyle. I spent many years partying and staying out late while doing drugs and drinking and that could possibly have attributed to this now I think. It’s easy to look back now and see all the stress I’ve put on my body and yet back then my mentality was...”I’m going to die of something someday so I might as well go while doing something I love to do”. I’ve heard many people say things like that and at this very moment that doesn’t help nor apply to me.

I’m currently thinking that I’m certainly not ready to go yet. Yea I know, life isn’t on my timetable and I wholeheartedly agree but it still doesn’t get any easier when you’re going through something with your health that you’re not use to or you don’t know the extent. Were I to leave today I firmly believe that I would be with my Savior but leaving my family isn’t something I’m prepared to deal with right at this moment and I’m sure they aren’t ready either. I know they would also understand that I would be with Him as well but I’m sure it would devastate them. 

I have gone through the past few years somewhat ignoring issues with my body simply because I don’t want to sound like I’m a big baby. I have had numerous back and neck issues as well as dealing with periodic ankle and knee issues but for the most part you can live with those even though there may be some pain and discomfort. The heart, however, you can’t live without. If something stops working with the heart then you stop working. It’s a scary thought when you really think about it. The heart is relatively small compared to your whole body and yet it, and the brain, have the most responsiblility in your body and can determine your life if either one of them shut down or stop working. So, sitting here waiting for results doesn't make me feel any better.

The funny thing is that anxiety can cause some of the same results or experiences that a heart issue can and you could be worrying for no reason. The body is so fascinating and it is a Godly designed wonder that never stops amazing me. 

However these things end up for me are certainly up to the One that created everything. All I can do is live this life in a way that would honor and glorify Him though I fail at that miserably. 

Have you done all you can today to effect someone else’s tomorrow? Have you been able to show the people that you love how much you indeed love them and not just with words? Have you passed on chances to impact someone that you’ve been around because you don’t feel like you have time? Well, you may not have tomorrow so take the time today to make a difference in someone’s life! What better legacy could you possibly leave than being known as one that took their time that you were given in order to help someone else and possibly change their life for their future?!

Shaking the Coke can!

Do you remember when you were younger and you thought it would be funny to shake up a can of Coke and watch someone open it so it would spray all over them? I know I did it a few times but when I think about it I don't think it would be that funny if it happened to me. It definitely leaves a mess and makes whoever it happens to very mad.

The same type thing happens if you leave a full can in your car when it is hot. The pressure builds up so high that it eventually explodes. That also leaves one heck of a mess and it is very difficult to clean up fully.

Do you ever feel like that can of Coke that has been shaken? Have you ever felt like you could just explode? Well, that's what I am talking about here.

We often times, myself included, let things weigh us down so much that we get frustrated and upset and instead of talking it out we let it build until there is nowhere else for it to go and we explode on someone. Often times it comes out on the closest one to us much like whoever is holding that can of Coke. We are quick to snap on a spouse, a co worker or ourselves whenever we have hit our boiling point. Sometimes it can be simply in a verbal way but often times it could result in a physical altercation which neither one of these things are acceptable. If you were to do something like this there could be severe consequences and even severed relationships.

What can be done that will help keep the pressure from building to that point?

The best way to combat these things from happening is simply to talk it out. I am bad about letting things build up and getting overly angry at something that I really shouldn't simply because I am not one to talk about too many personal things. I often times won't even talk to my wife like I should when there is something bothering me or on my mind. Talking it out is usually the most effective way to handle these things and can also be the most beneficial because there may be someone that could help you or give you good advice. It could be close friend or family member that can just listen to you and maybe even comfort you through some tough times or decisions. It could be someone that is going to give you the cold hard truth even though it could be the most difficult thing to hear. Either way just having someone to go to or talk to can make a huge difference in your life especially if you are one that struggles with life every day and don't ever seem to be able to make it out.

We often create our own toughest times as well. We get into things and make bad decisions that seem to make us think that there is no way out and we lash out at others when that's not necessary. Sometimes we just need to take responsibility and own up to it and deal. We often times need to hold ourselves accountable before we take it out on someone else. Lack of self accountability, I think, is one of the main reasons for unnecessary pressure build up when we want to blame everyone else for our mistakes and problems. You know what I mean??...the victim mentality?!

All this to say.... have someone that you can talk to. Get someone that can be there to listen to you when you are struggling or made a poor decision. Get a mentor or 2 that can be there when you can't figure out a problem or seem like you have no where else to turn. You may be like me and have a hard time trusting people or telling people your problems but it can make a world of difference in your life if you have a couple of people that can help you carry whatever burden that you are carrying...whether you caused it or not.

I hope this may help someone that may be struggling with something to be able to release some of that pressure before you explode!