Your friends bleeding you?

At some point in your life I’m sure you’ve washed clothes if you’re old enough to do so. In doing so I’m sure that at some point you’ve washed some that’s bled on others in the wash. It’s very frustrating for this to happen especially if it’s happened on more than one occasion!

As a young man, as I was learning life, I had this happen on a number of occasions. Most of the times it either involved darker towels that bled on each other or even jeans that bled on other clothes. It’s definitely a costly lesson to learn. It’s a little frustrating to pull out what was suppose to be a white towel or T-shirt that is now pink or or blue or black. 

Why did this happen though? Well, in my case, I was usually a little lazy and just threw everything into one load and the new towels would bleed onto whatever else was in there. So the problem lies in the fact that I didn’t separate the clothes. Sometimes it’s necessary to separate the lights and the darks or the clothes from the towels to make sure nothing is ruined during the wash cycle. 

What could happen when you don’t separate the clothes before you put them in the wash? Well, for starters it could cost you money. Often times once your clothes got stained or bled on by other colors you would either trash them or they turned into yard working clothes or something like that. The second thing that might happen is you might feel a little heartbroken if your favorite shirt or pair of pants became discolored while in the washing machine. You might often also end up throwing them away. One thing is certain though and that is if you were to have these things happen then you would likely learn your lesson and not let it happen again because it could become costly. 

What does separating clothes have to do with anything?

It’s a simple analogy actually!

Let’s apply it to life in which I think many of you will be able to relate!

Have you often times had to fight many battles that you thought might be unnecessary? Have you been in constant struggles that you feel there is no way out from? Have you been placed in difficult situations which required difficult decisions? Have you possibly had problems trusting people or maybe even landing the job you want? 

If you have then you may need to evaluate the people you are around or hang around on a regular basis!

The reason I say that is the fact that often times, though you don’t intend it, the people you hang around have a tremendous effect on you and many times it isn’t a good effect! Often times they are bad influences whether it’s a friend, family member or even a coworker. It could even be someone you grew up with or maybe even a mentor that has been a bad influence on you and because you were close to them you couldn’t see it.

I want to submit to you why I think that you must separate yourself from those same bad influences and what may happen if you stay in their company.

1) They can hurt your reputation because often times we are guilty by association. Somebody may see us with a certain individual and just assume we are doing the same bad things they are. It’s unfair seemingly but it definitely could happen! So, the next time you miss a promotion or don’t get the job you wanted you need to look at your center of influence and see if there is someone there that is affecting your reputation and contributing to the downfalls or shortcomings in your life!

2) They could be costing you money! Ever seem to go through your paycheck faster than you thought? Ever run out of money after the first weekend after you got paid? Do you seemingly support someone else’s habit?   Do you end up paying every time you and your best friend go out? Yes?! Then chances are you have someone in your life that is taking advantage of you and costing you money!  I’m not saying this happens in every case but in my case this was a big indicator. You may need to have a separation!

3) They could cause you to have trust issues! This could come from family or friends that’s maybe taken advantage of you or hurt you in someway. In many ways this one will hurt more of your future relationships than any of the others and is often times the hardest one to fix or get over. If you constantly have someone in your life that is taking advantage of you, lying to you or maybe even hurting you in some way then it may be that you need to separate from that friend or family member.

4) They could be keeping you surrounded by the temptations that you are trying to get away from! This one is also tough and dangerous. It could be a variety of things that this one covers from drugs to theft but whatever the vice or addiction it doesn’t help to stay around the people that possibly helped you start your habit in the first place and these are also the ones that are usually enticing you continuously! You need to separate yourself and not allow them to dictate the direction of your life through temptations!

All 4 of these things come down to the fact that often times these people that are causing these things in your life are really just trying to hold you down and hold you back. Many times they aren’t going anywhere in life and they just want company. They are usually the ones complaining that they have no money and no one will give them a job. They are often the same ones asking you to front them some money or wanting you to take them out so you can pay. It’s easy to see them if you’re looking for them! I didn’t use to be able to see them when I liked their company! 

If you are constantly struggling in certain aspects in life then you may need to evaluate your company. It may not always be the people you’re hanging around but definitely could be. If it turns out that you have bad influencers in your life then it may be time to separate the laundry so they don’t bleed you anymore!

Who keeps pooping on the porch?

If you are an adult then chances are at some point in your life you had a dog as a pet. In many instances you got the dog as a puppy and took the liberty of raising it and nurturing it as it became a part of the family to some aspect. It probably ended up sleeping with you or very near you and even stayed by your side while you were walking around your house. One thing is for sure and that is that the relationship probabaly didn’t start off too grand!

When you get a new puppy it seems to be so sweet! It is so cute and cuddly! It has the cutest little bark and even has nice puppy breath. You love on it and squeeze it and all is fantastic.... until you have to house train it! The first time you have to pick up puppy poop or step in it you realize that this may not have been a good idea. You start trying to train it but you realize that this little animal is a pooping and peeing machine and no matter how much you take it out there always seems to be more to come!

We were always taught to rub it’s nose in it or close to it and pop it’s butt and put it outside in order to train it to not go in the house. You have to make sure you get up in the middle of the night to let it out so you don’t end up stepping in something on your way to the bathroom. You have to make sure you take it out multiple times during the day to make sure it doesn’t go in the house. Taking care of a puppy is almost as tiring as taking care of an infant. 

Well, let’s say that your puppy gets a little older and has learned to scratch at the door to go out and you think it has finally learned. Then you let it out and instead of going to the yard to use the bathroom it goes on the porch. So now you have to spend time trying to get it to actually make it to the yard to finish its business. It almost seems like there is no end in sight.

Then the dog gets older and for some reason or another  the dog always wants to poop in the house or on the porch and you’re thinking to yourself ‘What am I doing wrong?’ So, you decide to find a different owner since you’ve stepped in its poop for the last time. Though it’s hard to do, it may be necessary because possibly the dog doesn’t like you or the circumstance it lives in or quite frankly maybe it’s just very stubborn and likes to make you mad. Either way you have to make a tough decision and let it go. 

What is my angle here and what does this have to do with anything?

Who keeps pooping on the porch?

Do you have someone at work that you work with or supervise that for some reason or another likes to always poop on your porch?

Chances are that you either have one currently that you work with or supervise or without much effort you can think of one from the past.

What’s does pooping on the porch mean before you answer that?

Well, do you have someone, that you work with, that’s always negative and loves talking about people. Do they often talk about fellow employees in a negative light? Is there someone that talks about your place of business or the people they work with negatively in public?  Are they quick to point out all the the faults and negative things about the people or the business and rarely, or if at all, speak of anything positively? If so, you may have one that likes to poop on the porch!

How do you deal with one that does so?

 Well, first you have to be able to see how this affects the people and the business. Chances are that this type of attitude is a huge distraction and more than likely causes others to be negative as well. If this type of behavior continues it could actually be a disease that infects all involved and may possibly decay the workplace from within.

Is there anything that can be done? Sure, if someone likes to poop on the porch like this then it can be a couple of things. 1st, maybe there is a training issue. Maybe this particular person is so negative because they weren’t trained properly and seems to think that they deserve more.(Not that negative behavior is ever a good thing and should ever be tolerated).

2nd, maybe this person is just bitter. Maybe they are just mad at life in general and don’t see anything in a positive light. Maybe they had a hard life and like to take it out on everyone else. They are the one that wouldn’t take extra training or positive feedback as a good thing. This is the one that you’ll probably recognize and see the most. They are the negative Nancy that can’t ever see the good or positive in anything and yet are the same ones that don’t seem to want to help do anything or help change things to make them better. They would rather complain and make everyone around them as miserable as they are.

Both of these are legitimate reasons that someone might continually poop on the porch but neither should be tolerated because it could take a detrimental effect on the workplace and the other people that work there. Should one person’s views and negative behavior be able to influence everyone else? I think not!

The only two things that you can do is to try to help them by training them or let them go to a new home. 

The1st is training them. If you decide to train them then you would have to do so with positive reinforcement and feedback. They need to know why you are doing it and what you’re trying to accomplish. This may be difficult with a very long term employee. They may not understand why the necessity of this new training and feel like they are being singled out. They are being singled out in a way but it’s only because they shined the light in themselves!

The 2nd thing is you have to give them away to a good home! Much like the dog may need a new home to strive, the negative person may need to be let go to show how much their demeanor has effected everyone to the point that they are let go. I know this can be hard but sometimes in order for them or the other people that are employed there to grow then sometimes you have to prune away the dead or fruitless limbs. Sometimes, in order for them to change, they must see the seriousness of their actions and sometimes merely words are not enough.

If this is you and you find yourself constantly being negative and being a bad influence in the workplace then maybe you need to go somewhere else before you are made to go. On the other hand, if this is you and you want to continue where you are then maybe you just need to ask for help and see if there are ways to help you get some training to stop pooping in the porch!